Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sickity Sick Sick

Take a wild guess what this blog is about!
Guess what? I'm sick! No fever or barfing, ew no thanks.
Thank you baby Jesus it's just a cold. How embarrassing would it be to barf in class! Oh my god.
Anywho, I have the cold. I knew it the second I woke up. I had that dry, muffly, phlemy feeling in my throat where you just don't feel good and water and cough drops won't fix it. It all started when I fell asleep with my window open. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having my window open. I like to sleep when it's cold/ breezy. But those Croatian superstitions came back to bite me in the butt. They always told me that sleeping with my window open will make me sick.
Goodness I know how ridiculous that is. I looked it up to just to make sure I wasn't going crazy and sure enough, cold air will not give me a virus or anything. Being cold can lower the immune system making it harder to fight off bacteria and what not, but it won't be the thing that gives me a cold.
But I'm sick. And it's just dandy candy...except that I have an econ exam tomorrow...
Today I went to my early ass class at 8 (history, that's why I bother to wake up). God, I love that class of course, but today was so harsh. I knew from the second I woke up, like I said, that i was sick. So I made a warm drink, took some asprin, and hoped that'd be enough.
Now I get colds a lot. I'm used to it. But they are generally minor. Just a headache with a cough and stuffy nose. But this is bad.
So I'm in class sipping my coffee taking some notes and then I start staring at some random person's foot or something. And BAM! The next thing I know it's 45 minutes later and I'm still staring at the foot without the tiniest clue of what I was just thinking about or what was happening in class. My brain was so foggy I couldn't comprehend anything. I literally felt like I was in a dream or something.
And after class ended, a guy sitting near me was about to leave without a book that he had forgotten on the floor or something and so I, on auto pilot and clueless, pick it up and hand it to him and say "is this your book". Actually I did not say it...I pretty much yelled it. I had no idea how loud I was talking until I heard myself echo and everyone turn to look at me. And I didn't exactly ask him politely either. I didn't mean to. I seriously felt like I had little control over a lot of what I was doing. So I walked back to my dorm and napped until my next class. Which was French, and I was feeling a lot better and I handled it better.
After all my classes, I walked to Walgreens (about 4-5 blocks) bought myself some vegetable soup, NyQuil, DayQuil  and some good old vitamin C juice. It started raining on my way back :( probably didn't make anything any better.
But I got back, ate some soup, chugged my NyQuil (which happens to have 10% alcohol in it...PARTY!) and crashed. Also I noticed on my NyQuil there's a tiny little ad on the upper right hand corner that says" parents: learn more about teen medicine abuse". OMG!
What are kids doing these days?! Are they so desperate for a little tipsy slut attention that they buy and chug bottles of NyQuil.
Now I'll tell you something, and I'm being honest. While in Europe, I may have flirted with a few alcoholic beverages. The straight up stuff ain't exactly like chocolate. But I got it down and moved on. But cold medicine...I mean...ew. It's thick and tastes terrible. And you can feel the stuff they put in it to open up your sinuses and the taste just lingers. No amount of any chaser really wipes that away.
But hey, if teens are really that desperate...I think they got enough issues going on in their life that make me think hey, why not chug a bottle of ny/dayquil. At least they won't get sick.

Anyways it was a big deal that I get better today for my econ exam tomorrow that is gonna kill me. But I've studied my butt off and sometimes that all you can do and just pray to the almighty Britney that you won't fail and get kicked out of college.
Also I talked to my lovely mother today and she helped me with my cold. Even when I'm an hour and a half away, she still manages to take care of me when I'm sick. Shanks meerm.
And also, while studying my econ book, I came upon a chapter with an example of opportunity costs based on a girl named Emma and how much money she would have to spend on all the books she read.
It knows me! We have a connection. Of course I took a picture of it and instantly sent it to my little sister. I mean it's freaking freaky!

I just took some Nyquil and I've been waiting for the effects to hit me like a train and put me out of my misery and it's starting to wash over me.  Tonight, my window is closed. I have cold medicine in my system. I have greasy hair on my head. And warm clothes on my body. Tomorrow better be a golly gee damn good day.

may the force be with you

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

College...eh...

So all my friends told me college was awesome. They said they loved it. It was amazing. They loved the freedom with the chosen responsibilities and learning things they actually wanted to know about. And let's be honest, they said they loved the parties. They all made tons of friends right away and went to parties, had fun moments that they probably can't remember due to certain substances and just had a blast.
I came to college with that perspective in mind. I mean I'm pretty sure that my freshmen freak out was my year in Croatia, so now that I'm here, everyone is overwhelmed and freaking out about the parties and the freedom. That was me last year. It ain't so exciting to me now.
I just want to point out I came here with an open mind, and it's still open, waiting.
But when you spend a year of your life appreciating just about every second of it, living it to the fullest and living it on the edge, the life after that year better be just as exciting or it ain't nothing at all. I mean, it's like that Queen Latifa movie where she finds out that she has a terminal illness and doesn't have much time to live, like three months or something. So she goes crazy. Doing things she never thought she'd ever get to or just things she kept putting off. She lived her life the extreme of the fullest. And then she finds out after going crazy for the past few months, obviously living like there's no tomorrow, that she isn't dying after all. Like shit. That's what goes through my mind. What now? How do you live life being content with it after living it the fullest extent you could? You know? That's what I'm going through. This isn't about Croatia specifically. I mean of course I miss it like crazy, but I'm used to that and that's settled. And I miss my friends from Croatia like crazy but I'm also used to that feeling. But this is something that's just hit me. This entire summer I felt it but I kept thinking well in college I'll forget all about it and live a fun exciting life again. But so far, it looks like I was wrong about that. It's sort of been a bad day so maybe I'm just being a over dramatic teenage girl. I'm good at that. But today I went to my classes, had lunch, job searched, went to the library to just have a conversation with a rude librarian to come back home, empty handed feeling lost, bored, and confused. I just don't know what to do. School work, yes mom I know. I've been doing that, which is good, but strange for me since it's all done about a week before it's all due. That ain't me. Make friends? This ain't exactly kindergarten and there are plenty of people on campus living like they're still in high school, which I'm thinking will blow over soon (hoping is more like it). There isn't much to do here...and life is boring to me and it extremely excruciating for me to be bored...like this.
But my hopes are that as soon as I start a job, volunteer work, hardcore homework, searching more exchange programs, that I'll be so stressed by everything that I won't feel this...empty? That's a sad word to use. I'm not depressed. I just feel like I'm missing something.

Also, my math class is for 6th graders. I canNOT take it.

Boo college.

Okay this little girl is going to find something else to be all over dramatic about. Maybe Justin Bieber. We shall see.

later homies

Friday, September 9, 2011

Honest to God all I need is a good song to listen to and all of a sudden I want to talk(type) about deep stuff, stupid, random stuff, important issues, or you know things that don't make sense. I don't know what it is, but give me a song with a good sound to it, don't matter what the words are, and I'll just be away at that keyboard. But...let's take this a little show, please?

Anyways. So here I am at college, the good life, you know. Tonight is this crazy thing Milwaukee calls Pantherfest. Panther because that's our mascot and fest because...it's a festival. I know...their creativity is overwhelming. But any who, there's some big time performers that I, *gasp*, do not know of. Which is a big deal. Like already stated music is my thing. I love it. I ain't know music snob, ew no thanks. I won't make you feel like shit by bashing your music saying mine is better, no one like's to hear that. Music is music. Everyone dances to their own tune. Whatever floats your boat is what floats you boat. Ain't my boat, so I don't care what you got going on over there, as long as I'm still floating of course, thank you. Whoa, anyways, there's some big time rapper guy or something (rap not exactly my cup of tea) and everyone who is anybody is there. Most people I believe are going to it a little tipsy and ready to go. But I am not going. I do not know him, so not sure if I would find it very enjoyable. Going drunk is always an option for every student, but I say no thanks (even though maybe then I'd be a little more open to dancing like a freak to music I don't know). But everyone is there, except me. Who is now sitting in my room, wrapped in the softest blanket my mother could ever buy me, eating nutella on a spoon, listening to music, and job searching. You know, I'm a real party animal on my Friday nights, obviously. I'll probably spend the rest of the night giving up on the job search and resort to watching endless episodes of Modern Family (LOVE THAT SHOW). If you want something to laugh at and make you poo in your little pants, watch some Modern Family. It'll make you love your family, no matter how crazy they make you, and then make you appreciate your family for not being like theirs...well...exactly like theirs...because let's face it, just about every family relates to the family in Modern Family in one way or a few.

I don't exactly have much of anything of any importance to chat about right now. I just wanted to point out that I'm currently missing out on some big concert that I don't really care for with a lot of people drinking their livers out, then puking their livers out, because that just doesn't sound so fun to me. Hey, don't get me wrong, I like to get freaky with my friends and do stupid things, but I do stupid things in smart situations...you know? Well, maybe not. But I'm smart. I'm still a college student, don't let that slip your mind. I ain't perfect and I definitely will let my freak flag fly, but I'm smart. And that is all you need to know when it comes to the typical college life that I'm borderline living right now.

I'm also really big on www.stumbleupon.com. It's the coolest thing to me. I don't know why, but I'll be amazed by it for hours, just starting, clicking stumble, and staring some more. You basically put in your information and interests and stuff, click stumble, and it'll take you to a random website that falls within your interest. And you can just keep hitting stumble and keep going to more websites that interest you. I LOVE IT.  And it'll keep me busy for a good 3 hours.

Random
Have you ever had that one song you'll listen to over and over again and not get sick of it? And even if the words are a little harsh you just can't stop yourself from loving the beat that carries them. And the thing with me is that I mean I love the song, he is sort of singing about his girlfriend, most likely now ex girlfriend, is a slut basically. He's bashing her, saying stuff like I can't make a wife out of whore, and you were just one of many to me. Harsh, I know, not exactly boyfriend of the year. But the beat gets me going crazy. And there's nothing extremely awesome about the beat, it just clicks in my head, I don't know. It's called Choke On This by Senses Fail by the way if anyone cares. But I guess it's a good song to listen to when someone makes you feel like shit. It's sort of a personal comeback that they may never hear but you get to say mean things towards them and feel better about it.

Like I've mentioned, music is a haven of mine. Most music...some music...not all. Taylor Swift...well...that's a whole different world to me. Britney Spears...I could pretty much lay down every song she has ever sang and add some fun facts about her life in there. But Britney may be just a different subject to me than music...more like...obsession? role model? best friend? Something like that.

Well this blog has carried on far too long so this will be a good time to say farewell.

Meowwwza.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Beginning

Here is the first blog for my new blog!
I know and will most definitely repeat far too many times that my writing style is...unique. I get carried away on subjects and I misspell words and don't put in enough effort to spell check my blogs. But if you know me and have conversations with me, you know that for the most part I get carried away when I talk and lose track of what my point was and I usually make up worse and do some weird stuttering, cover up weird wording kind of stuff.
But if you're curious enough, then please, go ahead and try to understand the mumbo jumbo that goes on in my head and for some reason I'm choosing to write down on a blog for the whole world to see.

I think my life has enough random, awkward, embarrassing events that shape it into the complete and utter chaos it is today.

But a quick run down of my life.
I have a big loud crazy melodramatic family. I live in a little town in Wisconsin. Last year, I was in Croatia, doing a gap year/ extra year of high school. That's probably something I might bring up from time to time. Now I'm in Milwaukee. Studying to be Queen of the World. And if that doesn't work out, I'll try something in International Studies and Political Science. But we will see...I plan to marry rich. Like my grandfather says "Marry for money. Find a Doctor or a Lawyer. Make time for love after marriage". I highly doubt he remembers saying that...but it happened. And my mom sat there nodding her head agreeing.
Anyways!

About myself...I'm easily distracted when telling stories...leading to me forgetting about what I was talking about. I'm terribly bad at holding my tongue. It's a problem I'm working on and possibly or possibly not getting better at it. I get very into some issues. I'm open minded and don't judge. I always try to look at both sides of every story, except those moments where I just need to vent. I'm a girl, but I'm no romantic.
Not so sure really what to say about myself...but you'll figure out what kind of girl I am if you keep up reading and get on my level.

I don't have much to say since this is just my first blog. But here's a declaration of a new blog. New Emma? Not so much. New life? Yeah, it's a little different than Croatia. New blog? YOU BETCHYA.

So enjoy the show. I'm convinced the director is out to get me. But it'll be entertaining no matter what.

peace. love. cats.